Business Money Hacks
Episode 4: Creating An Infinite Sandwich with Dr. Corvis Sasserson
[Music]
Dustin: Every morning you need to mind-hack and murder-hack your brand.
Bridge: Exponential growth is exponential.
Dustin: Look at your calendar, and burn it. What is your personal winning résumé?
Bridge: The number one thing that they don't teach in school is to make money
Bridge: Entrepreneurs
Dustin: Entrepreneurs
Bridge: Entrepreneur
Dustin: Entre-manure
Bridge: Produce, produce, produce, PRO-duce
Dustin: I am literally a god
Leonidas: Spartans!
Dustin: Business
Bridge: Money Hacks
[Music ends]
Bridge: Hi, and welcome to Business Money Ha-
Leonidas: Our arrows will blot out the sun!
Bridge: I really want to cut that.
Dustin: What part because I was
Bridge: Where he comes in and he's talking about the arrows
Dustin: You want to cut the whole intro or?
Bridge: No, the arrow part, because it's very disruptive. It feels like it really cuts off the flow of conversation.
Dustin: Well we didn't start the conversation so, I thought, if it's up, if it's all the same to you, we’ll just keep it in, we’ll… Do you want me to do the intro?
Bridge: No, no. Here, I’ll do it. Hi, everybody this is Business Money Hacks, and I am Bridge Stuart
Dustin: And I'm Dustin Taylor Hahn
Bridge: Today we have a, we're going to be talking about economic aspects of the economy, and just dealing with those sort of things that a lot of people, we came to find out, don't actually know a lot about the economy.
Dustin: And we're also gonna be talking about: how do you manage your budget with your personal life? And how do you manage your budget within business? And how do you manage other people's budgets, in a sense. I live in my own economy. If you have your own compound, if you have your own state or country, that's something that I'm building right now so that I can live on my own and not worry about anybody else on the planet
Bridge: That’s-
Dustin: Including its potential friends or anybody who pretends that they would love me but they don't actually love me.
Bridge: It's such an admirable thing that you're doing that. Me, I'm, I am, I personally am still stuck in the global economy, the US economy. Occasionally I'll dabble in the maritime economy, but yeah it's a troubling thing being stuck under the really dogmatic rules of the US government economy. It's so important to know the facts. I wish they would have an economy class in high school so that we could really drill it into these kids, really just grind it into these kids what are the economy is all about.
Dustin: I was home-schooled, and my mother and father would have two drills in their hands when they were teaching me, and they'd say “If you don't learn this I'm gonna drill this into your skull.” that was the threat every morning.
Bridge: Wow that’s
Dustin: So it's an, it's just interesting that you use the same terminology
Bridge: It's, that sounds like a great motivator.
Dustin: And you could see on my hands here, I have two holes in both of my hands stigmata style. I know you'll appreciate that being a devout Catholic. I was drilled to the desk in my home because I wouldn't sit still
Bridge: That’s a great way to teach a kid how to learn. I mean, yeah, just to just to drill your child's hand into a desk to make them learn, I think is a very profound way to you know drill it into their head to be honest.
Dustin: Or drill it into their egg.
Bridge: Drill it into their egg. Crack that egg and drill, is what I say.
Dustin: So let's get down to it, because I-
[Skype ringtone]
Dustin: We could talk about the Economy all day long, but we do have a special guest who I'm hoping that Dr. Corvis, you can help me create my own economy and not work within the confines of the of the US government or the world government. So, Doctor, can you give us a little rundown of who you are just for audience?
Guest1: Yes, so I'm an economic advisor. Currently I’m the personal economic adviser to the Crown Prince Sahib, the second of his name in Nigeria. He is a Nigerian prince. He was currently working on securing, sort of like crowdsourcing funds via email from American citizens. So I've been an advisor to him for the past 7 years. I'm currently serving as-
[Bridge and Dustin giggle]
Dustin: I think I've gotten those emails. They usually go straight to the spam folder. I should look at that
Guest1: That's right. You should. You should look at that, because he's actually a very important prince who's trying to get, just to help out the average American worker. He's very concerned about the-
Bridge: I’m sure he is, yeah
Guest1: Welfare of the American working class
Dustin: Crown Prince Shahib
Bridge: Sounds like a very noble man
Guest1: In Nigeria. Yeah he's very noble, you know, and you can tell that by his robes.
Dustin: This sounds like I can make a lot of money.
Bridge: This sounds like an opportunity.
Dustin: It sounds like a great opportunity.
Guest1: It is an opportunity. It is an investment, and I will tell you. I have seen, you know, his throne rooms at that palace, I mean he has backup thrones this guy,
Bridge: Backup
Guest1: And he's got vaults that are filled with just stacks of money that he is just kind of wanting to spread around some of this inherited wealth, and I, for one, suggest that if you get an email from this Nigerian prince to accept it.
Dustin: With the email, I'm looking at the email right now, and he says he's trying to get money out of- his brother was trying to get money away from him. I'm trying to read it fa- I’m sorry
Bridge: Seems like there's a lot of conflict
Dustin: There’s a lot of conflict with his family and he wants to
Guest1: You know, the royal family in Nigeria, I don’t want to get into details of it, but it's a whole Shakespearean tragedy over there. I mean you've got family members turning on each other and Shahib, he just wants the best for his hoard of cash that he's accumulated over his life, because he is one of the best humanitarians out there in the world today. So I've been advising him, and I'm also the lead financial executive officer for Joe's Crab Shack. Global- globally serving for- working for Joe's Crab Shack.
Bridge: So these are huge clientele. These are very demanding clientele. I mean with your experience in economics, I'm sure that you don't become a doctor in economics just by screwing around. You need to earn that doctorate in economics.
Guest1: That's true. Actually they are honorary doctorates from Harvard [coughs] Community College in Miami Florida, and I actually do sell economy-related DVDs on my web space as well.
Dustin: Sounds legit. Now tell me about Harvard. You said you were a Harvard graduate.
Guest1: I was educated at Harvard Community College it's pronounced “Harvard” but it's actually spelled H-A-R-V-E-R-D “Harverd”
Bridge: Hardverd
Dustin: So econo-
Guest1: Harverd. I am Harverd educated
Dustin: I like that. The “technically” I love, because I use that all the time. I know you do as well, Bridge, the “Technically the gun is safe. Technically I'm paying these people.”
Bridge: Technically, it is Harverd. It is Harverd, technically. so that's, and that's all that matters. That's really all that matters, yeah. So one question we wanted to sort of discuss with you is: The economy seems to be moving so fast everywhere. We, you know, we've got Bitcoin. We've got all these currencies. We've got, you know, China. We've got all these things happening right now. What is the big thing to be talking about?
Guest1: I'm so glad you asked that, because it is true that everyone right now is talking about Bitcoin, digital currency, currency that can't see. Bitcoin, what people have to remember is it's just a little bit. It's not actual money you can hold in your hands, and-
Bridge: I've never seen it
Guest1: It’s like, you know, the roots of the economy, and they teach you this day one at Harverd is that, you know, the money began as seashells, and people would trade you know five seashells for one pig, and then they’d trade, turn around and invest that pig into securing milk from a camels, for instance, or a turtle.
Dustin: Are you referring to early Wall Street
Guest1: We are not that far, you know, removed evolutionarily from our primitive economic ancestors.
Bridge: It's almost like saying “Oh yeah, invest in this mutual fund. It's two cows and a horse.”
Guest1: Exactly. The other thing I'd like to say is that the state of the economy in the United States today is incredibly precarious. If the economy were a meatball that my Nana Gracie made for my sister's wedding, it would be halfway to rolling off the table by now, and if you want to continue with this meatball analogy for a second, you can picture the current trade war going on with China as being not dissimilar to the way that my uncle Tony would drunkenly argue over who gets to eat the last meatball with his older brother Greg, and meanwhile your wife's cousins are drinking Chardonnay and crying in the garage, and this is pretty much where the analogy ends, but it's basically a microcosm that confronts the current US economic reality.
Bridge: So you're saying it's a feeding frenzy over this a meatball situation. Everybody's trying to get a meatball.
Dustin: Everyone's trying to get their own meatballs
Guest1: Everyone wants a piece of the meatball, and there's only so much to spread around at this point.
Dustin: So if I were to try to make my own meatball, if I were to try to make my own Swedish meatball that's actually you could eat, what would be the recipe for that?
Guest1: I don't even want to think about Swedish, because in my analogy I'm thinking of Italian meatballs, and I don't like- I don't even know what goes into a Swedish meatball. If you can clarify that
Bridge: They put berries on it. They put berries they put like the fruit on the meatball, which I have mixed feelings about.
Bridge: Lingonberries
Guest1: Ling- okay. That’s exotic. Yeah, so what was your- the initial-
Dustin: Well, I'm trying to make my own Swedish meatballs. I'm, I have my own compound. I've paid for the land.
Guest1: Okay
Dustin: It's Ne- it’s adjacent to New Zealand. How do I create my own Swedish meatballs, and what's the recipe? What’s the recipe?
Guest1: You want to make sound market investments, and I cannot say that again. Sound market investments. you know
Dustin: Now what is a ma- now what is a- I know what a market is. What's a market?
Guest1: Okay the market is where people trade, and sell, and talk, and exchange, and sometimes fall in love. You've all heard the expression “monkey or fish” to describe market investments in the economy?
Bridge and Dustin: Yeah
Guest1: Okay well in this case
[Guest1 giggles]
Guest1: In this case you know it's neither, because the free market economy is more of a monkey-fish hybrid. So I'm talking: both scales and paws, both booms and busts.
Bridge: And it just has the strengths of both but the weaknesses of neither
Guest1: Exactly, which I mean, there you go. You've just, Bridge, you just describe the economic reality in this country.
Bridge: So it can like hop from tree to tree while just taking a deep dive.
Guest1: The economy is a freeform creature. It's constantly evolving. It's constantly changing
Dustin: Now I drew a monkeyfish. I've been drawing a monkeyfish for you. Is this?
Guest1: That? Oh that's exactly right.
Dustin: If I were to make my own form of currency, and I had a monkeyfish on the cur- I- if I were to create a monkeyfish, you know in my in my scientific rooms
Guest1: Sure
Dustin: Could I then take a photo of the monkeyfish
Guest1: Yes
Dustin: And put it on the coins
Guest1: Yes
Dustin: So that the people working in my, under my wing could
Guest1: Yes
Dustin: Sell each other monkeyfish coins
Guest1: Exactly. Yeah, I think you've got a pretty good grasp on that way that the trade economy is working right now
Bridge: I just think it's a beautiful image. Like you constructing this monkeyfish in a laboratory and just letting it go wild, just swimming and just jumping from limb to limb as it screeches about the economy.
[Dustin laughs]
Bridge: I think is a beautiful sight
Guest1: But I don't want to, don't get carried away, you know. We don't have a utopian vision right now
Bridge: Well yeah, I mean, that kind of brings us to our next point. I mean like you know, we're talking about the global economy. We're talking about the US. What other countries do you see really rearing their head in the global economy right now, besides the United States of course.
Guest1: Yeah, China, you know, obviously
Dustin: mm-hmm
Bridge: Of course. There’s always China.
Guest1: You’ve got President… I think it’s Mau? And he is doing terrible- you know he's got
Dustin: Well there's a cultural revolution going on right now in China with Mau
Guest1: There’s a cultural revolution, yeah
Dustin: I think they're talking about it might turn into a communist state pretty soon is what we’re
Guest1: It might. It might turn communist and
Bridge: And that’s gonna do hell on the markets
Guest1: Fingers cross that doesn't that doesn't happen. Yeah, another I think competition that we've really got to start thinking about is Switzerland. Yeah because they are so neutral that they are so impartial, you know, you get them in a in a board meeting, and they're gonna make sound investment investments, because they have no emotional attachment whatsoever, and that's a threat, because we invest out of pure emotion, and
Dustin: As you, as I do. I always- I mean whenever I have to meet up with anyone, I first make sure to yell out my name as loud as I can just so that people can get attention on me, and my face gets very red at that moment because I start thinking about my past and the mistakes that I've made and the murders that I've done
Guest1: Right
Dustin: And it makes me angry knowing that other people might find out about that.
Bridge: Yeah
[all giggle]
Bridge: Going back to that that Swiss thank you're talking about. Those Swiss, they really, they're a cold-blooded bunch. They don't feel anything. I've done some business with the Swiss, and you know they're not afraid. You know, I like to generally, yeah, enter a boardroom and just start, like you said, just scream at people, really get under their skin. Those Swiss
Dustin: Swiss don’t, they don’t.
Bridge: They don’t care. It's like they're robots, like they're soulless
Guest1: Yeah. Never look at Swiss in the eyes, because yeah they look right back into you, and you won't get anywhere near them. They have cold black eyes.
Bridge: It's just like staring into an oblivion, like
Guest1: Oh yeah
Bridge: Like just, it’s like looking at yourself.
Guest1: I don't trust the Swiss, and you know as long as they-
Dustin: Aren’t they, they're half alien aren't they? Or aren't they half…
Guest1: Nords.
Dustin: They’re Nor- Nords are full hu- they’re full human being or are they…
Guest1: Nords are an alien hybrid race. You don’t know about Nords?
Dustin: No.
Bridge: Well, I personally don't believe in any of that, because, you know God didn't create aliens, obviously, but you know, you're welcome to your beliefs.
Guest1: Well, yeah, okay, picking up on a thread you mentioned about Swiss people being like robots. That's a good point, because that that leads me into something I wanted to touch upon. Everyone's afraid that the jobs are going in the hands of foreign workers, you know
Bridge: Yeah
Guest1: But really it's the it's the automatons that we want to worry about. It is the ro- robots are going to take all of our jobs, including the presidency by 2020, 2021.
Dustin: Oh that’s
[Bridge and Dustin giggle]
Dustin: That’s very soon! That's very soon.
Guest1: It's very soon.
Bridge: That’s three years!
Dustin: That’s three years from now.
Guest1: And what I've been telling people is “Stay behind the robowall at the Citadel. Let's build that robowall high, and let's keep out the automatons.” And that's a good thing for investors. I say the humans should hunker down at the citadel for as long as possible to keep them out.
Dustin: Bridge, you-
Bridge: I am-
Dustin: You're getting a little old hot-headed right now.
Bridge: Yeah I'm gonna be honest. I completely disagree. I say let them roam. Let those robots. The quicker you make them, the quicker you make them, let them out of the factories. Let them do what they're gonna do, because what they're doing is gonna be way beyond what we can do. Even the Swiss which are ba- who are basically robots anyway
Guest1: Basically robots yeah
Bridge: The, I think there's a purity to a robot: that cold steel that is just, it's a beautiful thing to witness, and I feel like the quicker we let those robots start making the decisions for us, honestly the better. I mean I would love it if my family was told what to do in their own home
[Dustin laughs]
Bridge: By a cold steel
Dustin: Doctors Sassman, I do have to apologize to-
Guest1: No, I
Dustin: This is an argument that that Bridge and I have all the time. I don't agree. I don't completely agree with him. I appreciate his cold steel, and his and his cold demeanor.
Guest1: Well it's controversial
Dustin: Yeah
Guest1: I respect the controversy and, sure, is there purity and automation? I suppose. But I don't want to be drinking you know nanomilk anytime soon. I don't want my babies to drink nanomilk from my wife's robotic breasts, and that unfortunately is the very real future that is coming for us if we start making this an automated robot-sourced economy.
Dustin: If there's a possible way, I'm gonna be a mediator here
Bridge: Yeah
Dustin: Because I'm trying to figure out a way for, so that I could live with my robot companion, Bridge, and when everything does fall apart in 2021, I would like to live in harmony with Bridge’s robot automatons. That would be my world. I'm trying to create a way so that I can turn into sort of a membrane, a brain creature that could roam, roam the skies while Bridge as a automaton
Bridge: Yeah
Dustin: Can take care of the land.
Bridge: Yeah
Dustin: Area, and obviously the water has been just dried up at that point.
Bridge: And I understand. I understand the fear that comes with the coming robot takeover essentially. I mean it's a scary thing. It's a scary thing imagining suckling nanomilk
Guest1: Right
Bridge: The fact of the matter is: a nanobreast is going to be 10 times more productive. The fact of the matter is: nanomilk is 12 times more delicious, and these are facts of nanomilk, and the sooner we come to grips- but I totally understand the fear. I was afraid at first, and then I just really had to crush that down.
Guest1: Hmm well, I wish I could learn to accept it as you have, Bridge. I think you're right. I mean, I don't think anyone's gonna argue that the nanomilk has a lot more nutrients in it, but it's not human, and that's kind of my point
Bridge: Yeah, get back to that turtle milk like you were you were bringing up earlier, yeah that that monkeyfish milk
Dustin: Yeah
Bridge: I think we could all use more of that.
Dustin: I think before we got to the nanobot milk, if I could have a shot at it, and create my monkey, my monkeyfish
Bridge: I drink all sorts of milk
Dustin: Hmm
Guest1: But yeau know you know, let's get back to the basics.
Dustin: Again I'm trying to create a my own economy. What's step one?
Guest1: Okay, great question. Picture the biggest Subway sandwich you've ever imagined, not eaten, but imagined. Now double it. Now double that, and you've got a sense of how large your private economy needs to be in order to compete with traditional market growth in the United States right now.
Dustin: So that's a 24-inch, that would be 24 inches?
Guest1: 24 inches is the biggest Subway sandwich you can imagine?
Dustin: Well, a Subway sandwich, the largest Subway sandwich is
Guest1: Right
Dustin: Is a footlong. You wanted me to double it. Double it is 24?
Bridge: That'd be 48, right? Cuz you doubled twice! That's a lot of growth.
Guest1: Yes
Dustin: It grows width, and it grows and it grows length.
Guest1: It grows in-
Dustin: And depth as well! It's a 3D, it's sort of a three-dimensional economy is what you're saying.
Guest1: Oh, that's how it works. And Dustin, I think you just hit the screw on the head there.
Bridge: Well that's a beautiful, beautiful idea of
Guest1: Yeah
Bridge: Visualizing just a Subway sandwich that is protruding in different directions, constantly, infinitely, that is just engulfing everything in its path, absorbing it in its path. I think that's a beautiful representation of what the market is, what economics are.
Guest1: Oh, it's a big sandwich and that's, yeah. So you know one thing to keep in mind is- what I'm driving at here is that endless growth. That is underpinning all of what we're talking about today, right. Endless growth
Bridge: Infinite growth
Guest1: It’s a fact of nature. It's a fact of life. The planet's infinite. No one knows how big the planet is. No one knows how much resources we have out there. It's endless.
Bridge: There's so many people saying “Oh conserve, oh we gotta not do this. We got to not cut this many trees down.” People don't know how big this thing is and how much we can grow!
Guest1: It’s endless. People don't understand. They talk about, you know, factors of climate change affecting the economy. That's never going to happen because of how big stuff is. How long does it take you to run, without a car, to run to your closest gas station?
Dustin: Oh it’s endless
Guest1: You're going to be out of breath. You're gonna be dehydrated, and it's because, Wow. Imagine running from there to the other, to the next closest gas station!
Bridge: Yeah
Guest1: How long's that gonna take?
Bridge: I wouldn't even want to imagine
Guest1: The brain can't even conceive of that kind of distance
[Bridge and Dustin giggle]
Dustin: I know that, with business, Bridge, you've said to me dozens of times, when you're at the top there's nowhere to go but up.
Guest1: Yes
Bridge: There's nowhere to go but up. People that say that there are finite resources is a complete representation of a can't-do attitude. That is so negative, and that is completely unamerican. I'd say it's more European, maybe not the Swiss
Guest1: And globally, globally speaking, when you talk about finite resources, no one knows what's underneath the planet, you know. Underneath the planet is just another planet Earth
Bridge: Yeah
Guest1: And it's not a problem swap one out and bring in the other, and people don't realize that either when they talk about finite growth, and it is a can't-do attitude. It is un-American, and it's defeatist, plain and simple.
Dustin: So the reserve planet that you're referring to which is under the Earth's core-
Guest1: They're endless. And this is what we don't understand because scientists are, you know, I know this is a little out of my wheelhouse, but this is just common knowledge at this point I think, is that scientists can't look down, right? We can only look up at outer space.
Bridge: Because there’s dirt.
Guest1: We can’t look down. We can't look down, because we could only look up.
Dustin: I believe you because you said it three times in a row.
Guest1: We're gonna be okay.
Dustin: So there’s a planet where a Bridge can have his robot uprising and robot world where robot milk is spraying around and creating fountains of love, and then I can have my world where there are hundreds of giant brains that are floating above the land, and you can have your world where the robotic Swedish are no more.
Guest1: You know, and that isn’t even my ultimate goal. I just want to do the best I can to help Prince Shahib, to help people benefit from him, and you know that’s another thing I was going to say is uh, is I'm going to keep sending you guys out those emails. Have you both received the emails?
Bridge: I got them, yeah,
Dustin: As we’re speaking, there’s- my emails are popping up over and over again. They’re- it doesn't stop at this point
Bridge: Wow it's like a, it's like a ticker tape. It just keeps going and going and going, wow
Dustin: Yeah I keep getting more emails. I can't- I keep opening them up, and now, and now… yep now my computer is slowing down a little bit.
[Windows error sound]
Computer: Attention, your computer may be infected with a virus
Guest1: You know, we could talk about, um
Computer: Attention, your computer may be infected with a virus. Attention, your computer may be infected with a virus.
Guest1: The Swiss all day, but at the end of it, all I want is a Nigerian prince-based economy in this country.
Bridge: That’s great.
Dustin: I might have to get a new email at this point.
Guest1: You’re welcome, so
Bridge: Dr. Corvis Sasserson, thank you so much for joining us today. I mean, I've learned so much about, you know, Nigerian-based economy. It’s a very profound thing. I don't know if I'm gonna be learning too much. My computer's, hehe, I think it's about to die here, I might have to
Dustin: Yeah your phone, my phone’s getting hot
Dustin: Might have to
Dustin: You're sending me lots of emails right now.
[Windows error sounds]
Computer: Attention, your computer may be infected with a virus.
Bridge: Burning up in here.
Guest1: You’ll get a lot more, and your families also.
Dustin: Hmm, well this is
Bridge: I think-
Dustin: This is happy virus is what I call this
Computer: Attention, your computer may be infected with a virus.
Guest1: You know they say about spam…
Dustin: Mm-hmm
Guest1: It's cheaper than meat. So eat it up. Eat it up.
[Windows alert sound]
Guest1: Enjoy that spam. Don't filter it out.
Dustin: I do have one issue here, because Bridge seems to be shaking a bit. You know, Bridge has a- Bridge has a chip in the back of his brain.
Guest1: Oh he’s got a chip, he’s
Bridge: Yeah
Dustin: He has an egg chip that we put back there, and it is connected directly to his email. So he can check his email whenever he wants through his egg. So-
Guest1: Oh, that’s good.
Bridge: Yeah it’s good, not great right now.
Dustin: Not great right now cuz you are getting
Bridge: My, yeah, I’m really
Computer: Attention Bridge, you may be infected with a virus.
Bridge: Yeah I’m really getting this virus in my head.
Guest1: It’s gonna get hot
Computer: Remove chip implant immediately.
Guest1: [unintelligible] between that and meningitis
Computer: Warning! Warning!
Dustin: We’ll look into that
Computer: Attention Bridge, remove egg chip immediately.
Bridge: I feel like I’m about to puke, so
Dustin: If you could briefly tell me what’s going on in Wall Street right now, I know that there are a lot of- they've let the bulls loose, and they've let the bears loose, and now the bulls and the bears are fighting each other.
Guest1: Last I heard, it's not even Wall Street that's the real center of trade anymore. I mean yeah, Wall Street's old news. Go down a couple blocks. There's like a red painted garage and a neon light, and you want to go down there.
Computer: Attention Bridge, you may be infected with a virus.
Dustin: We got to take care of this situation. I'm so sorry to cut you off, Sasserson.
Computer: Remove chip implant immediately.
Bridge is getting white. He’s not looking good right now.
Computer: Attention Bridge, remove egg chip immediately.
Bridge: I’m not feeling great.
Dustin: Not feeling great.
Bridge: These emails are- they just keep coming in, and I can't see.
[Music]
Dustin: Thank you Dr. Sasserson.
[Bridge coughs]
Dustin: Oh okay yeah, I’ll send you that.
Computer: Warning! Warning!
Dustin: When I create the monkeyfish, I will send you monkeyfish milk. I really appreciate it.
Computer: Remove egg chip immediately.
[Music ends]